How long should a sponsor have been sober?

There's no rule. Many of us looked for someone who had worked all twelve steps themselves and had some steady time, so they could show us the way they went.

Can we have a temporary sponsor?

Yes. Some groups offer a temporary sponsor to newcomers. It's a good way to start while we get to know people.

Can we change sponsors?

Yes. People move, schedules change, and sometimes it just isn't a fit. Changing sponsors is common, and it doesn't need anyone else's approval.

What if there are no meetings near us?

Online meetings by video, phone and chat run at all hours, and people find sponsors there too. The meetings guide on this site lists where to look.

Do we need a sponsor to use the tools on this site?

No. The tools are free to use any time. But the steps were written to be worked with another person, and the tools are meant to go alongside a sponsor and meetings, not instead of them.

Finding a sponsor

How to find a sponsor in AA

A sponsor is another AA member, usually with some sober time and the steps behind them, who agrees to walk us through the steps and pick up the phone when we call. Nobody gets assigned one. We find a sponsor at meetings, by listening, and then by asking.

What a sponsor does

Takes us through the Twelve Steps, usually with the Big Book open.
Shares their own experience: what they did, what worked, what didn't.
Picks up the phone, especially early on and on the hard days.
Hears our Fifth Step, if we choose them for it.
A sponsor isn't a counselor, a doctor, a lender or a boss. They're one alcoholic helping another, and they get as much out of it as we do.

How we find one

Go to meetings, the same ones regularly if we can, so people get to know us.
Listen for someone who has what we want: not money or charm, but a kind of steadiness about how they live.
Many groups suggest someone of the same gender, or someone we won't be attracted to, so the focus stays on the steps.
Ask, after a meeting: “Would you be my sponsor?” That's the whole speech. Most people are glad to be asked, even if the answer is no.
If they say no, it's usually about their time, not about us. We ask someone else.

Common questions

How long should a sponsor have been sober?: There's no rule. Many of us looked for someone who had worked all twelve steps themselves and had some steady time, so they could show us the way they went.
Can we have a temporary sponsor?: Yes. Some groups offer a temporary sponsor to newcomers. It's a good way to start while we get to know people.
Can we change sponsors?: Yes. People move, schedules change, and sometimes it just isn't a fit. Changing sponsors is common, and it doesn't need anyone else's approval.
What if there are no meetings near us?: Online meetings by video, phone and chat run at all hours, and people find sponsors there too. The meetings guide on this site lists where to look.
Do we need a sponsor to use the tools on this site?: No. The tools are free to use any time. But the steps were written to be worked with another person, and the tools are meant to go alongside a sponsor and meetings, not instead of them.

AA's own pamphlet answers more questions from members' experience: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship ↗

The steps on this site work alongside a sponsor and meetings, not instead of them. Start with Step One →

If you’re in crisis, call or text 988, or call SAMHSA at 1-800-662-4357.