THE STEPS · STEP FIVE
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
IN PLAIN WORDS
The step that needs a listener.
Step Five is where the inventory leaves the page. The Book is blunt about why we can't skip it: newcomers who tried to keep certain facts about their lives to themselves — who took the easier, softer way — almost always went back to drinking. Its conclusion is one of the plainest sentences in the whole text: "We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world."
Somebody. A human being, chosen carefully, hearing the exact nature of our wrongs. It is the most frightening step for many of us — and the one after which most of us finally felt we belonged to the human race.
INTO ACTION · BIG BOOK, PP. 72–75
This is the one step we won't put a tool between you and. Step Five needs a human being. What's below only helps you get ready for the conversation.
Where we get stuck
“I can't tell anyone THAT.”
The thing we most want to leave out is the thing the Book says to tell. Every one of us had a THAT.
“I don't have anyone to tell.”
The Book's criteria are simple: keeps a confidence, understands, won't be harmed by hearing it. Sponsors, clergy, counselors — and the rooms are full of people who've heard it all.
“Isn't telling myself and God enough?”
We thought so too. The Book says self-honesty alone wasn't enough for those who came before us — the human witness is the medicine.
THE STEP FIVE TOOL
Before the Conversation
Not the step itself — that belongs to you and your listener. This is how we got ready: choosing the person, naming the day, and being honest about what we're tempted to leave out.
🛡 Free · No account · Nothing is saved or stored
What a sponsor would ask
“Who's the person you'd trust with this — and what's stopping you from asking them this week?”
“What's on the folded-over page?”
“What do you imagine their face doing when you tell them? Now — what did YOUR face do the last time someone was that honest with you?”
From the literature
Big Book · pp. 72–75
Big Book · pp. 74–75
Steps Six and Seven are waiting.
Continue to Step Six →